Big Relationship Mistakes Can Have Very Small Beginnings

When it comes to relationships, nobody is perfect. In fact, navigating the confusing waters of relationships is one of the biggest life challenges most people face. Just like anything else, with relationships we often learn by trial and error. Sometimes we make lots of errors. If they are small, a minor adjustment is all that is needed to set them right; however, there are times when we make one big mistake throughout all our relationships. When this is the case, it is important to analyze the situation, locate the source of the problem and deal with it appropriately

This is a lesson I learned the hard way. My girlfriends always complained that I was not kind and giving enough, and I always felt that they were simply trying to take advantage and use me. For this reason, I kept a running tally of favors exchanged, and I made certain we were always on even ground. I did not want to be left holding the bag having given more than I had received. Naturally, this attitude had a negative impact on my relationships

I felt that I was trying very hard to have successful relationships, but when one after another failed for the same reason, I knew I had to do some serious thinking and introspection. I took some time alone to think back over my relationships with girls all the way back to the beginning, and I was able to pinpoint the problem

Long ago, practically in another lifetime, a girl took advantage of me. I was just in junior high, and a pretty girl wanted me to help her with her lessons. I felt so flattered and important, and I thought she really liked me then I found out she was laughing at me behind my back. She took advantage of my help and told the jocks and cool kids that I was a loser. That really hurt a lot, and as a result I vowed never to let it happen again

I was too young and naive to realize that not all girls are like the one who hurt me. I overreacted and made a rule for myself that I outgrew but never cast aside. When I took the time to really look at my dating history, my mistake became very clear to me. I had allowed a single event to overshadow my entire experience with women. My teenaged self created a general rule about women based on an isolated incident involving one immature (and probably spoiled) young girl. That rule did not apply to my adult self or the women I wanted to know and love

If you find yourself having the same problems in relationships over and over again, it may be that something like this is happening to you. Take some time for yourself and give some serious thought to all of your relationships. Trace your mistakes and problems back to the beginning. You may find that, instead of lots of little mistakes that you can just toss back and forget about, you really have one big whopper of a mistake that needs to be reeled in and dealt with. When you do this, you can get a fresh start and be well on your way to happy and successful relationships

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